This all started with me getting sick. I caught some sort of virus and was stuck feverish, aching, coughing and feeling like I was going to die. Now, being sick for everyone is generally not fun. And I will admit, I’m somewhat of a baby when I’m sick. My anxiety shoots through the roof…i have panic attacks for no explainable reason and it makes whatever illness I have much more uncomfortable.
This last time started with a cough. Then a fever and aches…then throwing up. And most of that day while I was going through this, my husband was busy helping other people (as he often is). I tried very hard not to bother him or stress him out…but I found myself missing him and I finally broke down and sent a text “when are you going to be home for the day? I don’t feel good”. He came home and like the awesome man he is, he laid down with me in bed and turned on a movie, and put his hand on my back. Even though I still felt like crud and was dry heaving….my anxiety lifted immensely.
And then texts from my best friend and mom….just knowing they were “with me”…in my corner, fighting it with me. I refer to this week from last winter as probably the toughest week for me. Not only did I get Influenza A (it started with me) but then three of my four children and my husband all got it too. I’m a wreck with anxiety when I’m sick….it spikes my cortisol and just makes me incredibly anxious. I used to not ask for help, not tell people when I was sick or anxious….I never wanted to “burden” people. But as I’ve gotten older, and the more I’ve learned to manage my anxiety, the more I’ve learned that dealing with things alone makes them 100 times worse…it grows the monsters my mind turns every day worries into and they become next to unmanageable. By sharing this and allowing others to help me when I need it (and in return helping others when they need it….it gives you a hit of dopamine in your brain to help others, really it does) I become much stronger and more capable. Relationships truly do heal!
Until next time,